I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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