The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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