Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize