she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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