you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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