Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
