Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
