What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
