Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
