I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
