Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
