She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
