My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
