dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
