Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
