Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Jerry, you need to find god
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize