R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
