Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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