I wish I only lived at night.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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