Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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