Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
