You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
