this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
