All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize