Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
