so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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