at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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