1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
where does the pee come out of this thing
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
