I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she looked like the before picture.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm like, not good at living.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
