Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not