So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
