she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning