I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.