I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
