i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
