I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
