btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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