You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
