I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
