i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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