so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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