make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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