'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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