Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
