Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
