Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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