can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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