can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
