dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
