Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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