People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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