she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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