im six kinds of drunk right now
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
