It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
