I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
