if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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