i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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