and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
