is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
