Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
