Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
