Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize