How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
