Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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